All my life, I have wanted to be a mom. I loved playing with my dolls and creating a world where I could care for little babies all day long. Preferably lots of them. I think at one point my sister got a set of quintuplet babies that I was pretty much obsessed with. I knew that one day, I wanted a house full of babies.
My journey to motherhood didn’t come without tears. Before becoming pregnant the first time, I saw lots of doctors and took medication and peed on more sticks that I could count. And the day I saw those two pink lines, I could hardly believe it. My day had arrived. I was becoming a mom.
I have been that girl who cries when she hears someone else’s pregnancy announcement. Cries, thinking, “when will it be my turn?” Not just the first time, but also the second time around. More medication, more negatives. But eventually, a joyous moment, realizing that our family would be growing.
I had resigned myself to knowing that getting pregnant would always take effort. It wouldn’t ever be something that just “happened.” There wouldn’t be a surprise, because how could there be?
But when we were ready to welcome a third baby into our lives, we decided to wait before refilling my prescription. Just to “see what would happen.” This, my friends, is where I felt the blessing of the Father. After the countless tears I cried, always wondering, never convinced my body would carry another baby, I felt God wrap His arms around me and wipe my tears. “I heard you crying, my daughter. Don’t try so hard this time. I am making you new, from the inside out. Let me grow this baby my way, not yours.”
And make me new, He did. After three healthy, amazing, and wonderful babies came into our lives, He has continued to heal my body and work miracles in our family.
For the past 14 weeks, little baby new has been growing inside me. An unexpected miracle that we cannot wait to welcome into our home. A baby that we didn’t plan for, but one that has already shown us how big our God is. How He knows us, better than we know ourselves. And sometimes, He likes to surprise us in really big, unexpected ways.