This afternoon, a dear friend stopped by my house for a visit. We chatted about her upcoming wedding plans, and I shared some things that have been going on with my kiddos.
At one point, I said, “This parenting gig… it’s hard. Really good, but hard.”
She responded, “Most things that are worthwhile usually are.”
Oh isn’t that the truth.
I love being a mama. Everything inside of me loves it. Even when I hate it, I still love it. But being a mama means so much more than just changing diapers and feeding babies. There’s the worry, the guilt, the doubts.
And always the wondering… Did I make the right decision? Should I have taken the paci away when I did? Should I give it back? Is it okay to let him cry? Should I take him to the doctor? Can I let him play outside by himself? Am I giving each of them enough attention? Are they independent enough? Is that normal??
The last few weeks have been tiring. Between illness and dealing with some other parenting challenges, I haven’t done anything I thought I would do. The house? A constant mess. The sewing projects? Abandoned. The blog posts? Postponed. The playdates? Cancelled. The laundry pile? Ever growing.
And this mama? Exhausted.
Truly, being a parent is so.darn.hard sometimes. Maybe more often than not. But even in the midst of the hard times, when I’m not sure what to do and feel like I’m just sifting through the mess, surviving on caffeine and chocolate, I can do nothing else but lean into the arms of a Father who never tires. He knows how hard it is. He wants to carry me through it.
So I’m going to let Him.